IMPOSTER SYNDROME: WHO'S THE IMPOSTER?

Let’s answer these questions before we begin.

Have you ever worked very hard to achieve something and got it? How did you feel? What happened to your self-esteem?

A person with Imposter Syndrome doubts his or her abilities despite his or her achievements. This person feels like a fraud after achieving something he or she worked for. The person works harder without rest with each achievement they get because they feel they are wearing a mask and they are not as good, as smart, or competent as people see them. They say things like “I only got lucky” and “Maybe the reason I got this is because the person likes me’ and it’s never “I’m glad I worked for this”. They never acknowledge the effort they put in to get there. Imposter syndrome is common among high-achieving people.

Imposter syndrome begins in childhood. Kids are often compared to their smart peers and their efforts are not seen so they believe that they are not smart enough from an early age and when they finally achieve something, it doesn’t feel right to them and they feel they don’t deserve it.

 Let’s take Mary and Cynthia for example. Cynthia always gets the first position in class while Mary gets the fifth position in a class of twenty kids like them. Mary’s mother complains about Mary’s performance and calls it ‘a poor performance’. She compares it to Cynthia’s performance. Mary works hard to get the first position and she gets it but she feels bad for Cynthia and the rest of the class because they worked hard for it, forgetting she worked hard for it too. Mary only gets happy when her mother acknowledges her performance but she keeps feeling guilty because she feels she only got lucky. Mary grows up with this mindset and lives every day like this. There are so many people like Mary in the world today.

We cannot tackle Imposter syndrome in a day. So we take steps to overcome it until we finally overcome it. Statements like “I worked hard for this” and “I read for this” should be used often and statements like “I only got lucky” and “I don’t deserve this” should be used less. Take time to celebrate those achievements. You deserve those achievements as much as the person next to you. You are good enough, you are smart. YOU ARE WORTHY OF GOOD THINGS TOO.